What’s up Wankers? It’s been a fucked up past couple weeks, but I’m back and ready to shove some good shit in your ears and down your throats. I am no longer writing for MTHRFNKR, as my editor Kornelia Kamilia has decided to take the fabled online music magazine in a different direction (more postdubstep style blogging, less magazine). I’m pretty fucking stoked about that, not because I lost a sick ass writing gig but because I fell in love with that site before it was MTHRFNKR, when “postdubstep” was the fucking sickest blog on tumblr. I feel that even though the writing staff at MTHRFNKR helped turned the magazine into one of the best music publications on the web, Kornelia going back to her roots and taking all of the responsibility for content to the site will only be beneficial for her and for her throngs of dedicated and supportive readers. To that, I only wish her the greatest fortune and luck, and am honored to have worked for such a dedicated and hard working individual. I’d also like to thank the readers who liked my shit, because it’s for you I’m really writing for, and I promise to continue writing here on Wanker till I fucking die, delivering you only the best new shit with a lot of my babbling bullshit to accompany the music. And speaking of the music…
Disclosure has had an amazing year, and when The Face EP drops on June 4th via Greco-Roman (which you can pre-order here) I’m going to seriously lose my shit. Plowing through waves of the Post-Dubstep/Future Garage scene like Kanye West’s dick through Kimmy K’s vagina, the UK’s best super-producer-brothers are the most refreshing and exciting duo this year, and The Face EP is sure to be the hottest thing to come out since last year’s summer-smasher Watch The Throne. Ria Ritchie’s vocal performance on “Control” is sexy and inviting, and the jammer is just another hard-as-fuck banger from Disclosure’s heavy lady-vocalized repertoire (see “Running ft. Jessie Ware,”“Boiling ft. Sinead Harnett”). It’s a massive track, and if you don’t listen to it you can go fuck yourself! Though you would be missing out, I’d definitely rather fuck myself listening to this song than without. Seriously, I am not ashamed to admit that Disclosure makes me want to masturbate, and I listen to them at least twice a day. That’s a lot of wanks.
Well holy shit, Animal Collective finally released some new music! I haven’t been so completely blindsided by news like this since I found out that my dog can speak Taiwanese. Stupid Mr. Norbert. Bad dog. Stream “Honeycomb” and “Gotham” in the player above, and preorder the Honeycomb + Gotham 7” (due to be released 06/26/12) over at Domino Records.
Nicolas Jaar - Variations Yours Truly and the Great Whore of the World (MTV) got Nicolas Jaar to perform a few of his songs live. Sweet. Watch Nicolas Jaar and friends perform “Variations” from 2011’s Space Is Only Noisehere, and head over to Yours Truly and watch them perform “Why Didn’t You Save Me,” from last year’s Don’t Break My Love EP.
Tara Carosielli - Resistance (Interlude) Damn, this is big. We don’t have anything more to say, so this time we’ll just let the song speak for itself. One thing we will say though, we have no idea who Tara Carosielli is, but we think we’re in love.
XXYYXX - About You We have so much love for this kid right now. Sixteen year old Marcel Everett from Orlando, Florida, is mostly known for his prominence and absolute mastery of making sexy ass bangers under the pseudonym XXYYXX. Watch the video for “About You” above. “About You” is the first track off of XXYYXX’s self titled record, a whole thirteen songs available for a dollar at his bandcamp. Goddamn he’s giving. He’s like Jesus or something. The video is not fucking boring either, it’s full of sexy girls, vinyl, smoke, and animal masks! Our four favorite things! Watch it!
Boddika & Joy Orbison - Prone What do you get when Boddika and Joy Orbison collaborate? A FUCKING BANGER! If you didn’t know that, then you should put your Katy Perry records down and start learning something worth learning. If you don’t want to do that, you can get on the bus and move to Canada or Wales or somewhere where you can do stupid shit and fuck ugly bitches and listen to shitty music. Anyways, Boddika and Joy Orbison released a 12” yesterday, Dun Dun/Prone, and much to this writer’s dismay the vinyl has already sold out. However, you can buy the mp3’s here, or if you want to be ahead of the game, pre-order Joy Orbison’s long overdue release of his single “Ellipses” over at Trinity Tapes before that fucker sells out too. Do it, bitches!
AlunaGeorge - Just A Touch Today is a great day. Today, London’s super-hyped AlunaGeorge digitally released their first official EP, the three-tracked You Know You Like It, via Tri Angle. Stream the bouncy brand new track “Just A Touch” above, and get ready to get your freak on like you haven’t gotten your freak on in years. AlunaGeorge’s music screams sexy 90’s R&B pool parties, and lets be honest, there is nothing better in the whole fucking world than sexy 90’s R&B pool parties. Last time I was at a sexy 90’s R&B pool party, I had sex four times. Who wouldn’t want that? That’s four times the amount of sex that usually happens at our present-day void-of-R&B pool parties! I’m fucking so happy AlunaGeorge is bringing it back. I’ve never been more excited for anything in my whole goddamn life. Ladies and Gentleman, we are witnessing the future by going back to the bangin’ music of the past. Today is a great day.
Niki & The Dove - Hot Summer Niki & The Dove just released a video for what is expected to be the first song on their forthcoming Niki & The Dove Mixtape 1. The track is called “Hot Summer,” and the video is “borrowed footage from incredible surfers” being sped up and slowed down to the audiolevels of the song, sometimes revered/mirrored to the beat, giving it that lame hipster-visualiser screensaver feel. TL;DR? The video is boring and it sucks. It’s kind of like if Top Gun was only about volleyball, and deserves to be played at any nautical-themed sushi restaurant in between shots of trains and people walking in a park. And “borrowed footage?” It makes you wish that their stoner friend had more than one surf film on his shelf. It’s a sexy little track though, and my favorite from the duo so far, giving me hope and a little anticipation for their debut albumInstinct, releasing on May 14th. Let’s fucking hope it’s better than this shitty video.
Damn, this guy has a big voice. The Berlin-based electro-pop artist (who looks remarkably like a young David Lynch) apparently spent 4 years honing his sound before releasing his debut EP Hylas 001, on his own label Hylas Records/BMG Rights Management. Careful layers of synth hooks arranged with short, simple yet articulated bass lines, followed by Azier’s haunting vocal performance leaves listeners of “Red Eyes” feeling somewhat melancholy and lost (and a little bit like you’ve just listened to a remix of Chris Issak’s “Wicked Game”). A similar feeling can be felt when you turn on the radio to your local pop music station and find that the days of good pop music are gone, replaced by Nicki Minaj’s “Spaceships,” and whatever the fuck that Bruno Mars guy is putting out these days. I can’t help but wonder “how the fuck did it come to this?” every time I listen to that shit. Damn, thank god for iPods. Azier’s Hylas 001 is a breath of fresh air compared to the multitudes of shit that is spoon fed to us by the corporate entertainment companies, and you should do yourself a favor and listen to it.
You can download “Red Eyes” for free at Thomas Azier’s facebook page.
Jesse Ware’s “110%” is my fucking JAM right now. The Julio Bashmore produced track is the perfect song to usher in the summer, and SBTRKTS number one female collaborator gives a solid vocal performance that has so much swag that I want to kill myself for not having as much swag. Goddamn this song is sexy! And I want her fucking sunglasses! Her album debut’s on June 4th, and people better ready their cold showers because I think it’s going to be a hot one.
